Relationship with Self - Jaime Mann

Growth & Transformation

Relationship with Self

October 25, 2023

Hello, I'm JAIME
advisor, coach, and connection cultivator. Associate certified coach (ACC) and member of the international coaching federation (iCF) and the canadian positive psychology association (cppa).
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Why hello there.

We’re just getting back to the swing of things after the summer. The kids are back to school, and my brain is not as focussed on lazy weekends and cabin time, but on moving projects ahead and building momentum. However, I am intentional about not falling into an unhealthy work routine. Afterall, we are human, and definitely are not robots, (proven by our ability to select all images containing motorcycles) and we need to make sure we plan for small breaks of fun. Figuring out what energizes and replenishes us, AND making sure that happens every now and again one way we can prevent burnout.

My friends energize me, and I’m looking forward to seeing them. I’m fortunate to have a close group that gets together regularly – we have quarterly “cougar club” meetings – and after our time together, I feel lighter. Happier. (No kids, and excessive laughing and goofing off will do that.)

This makes sense, because connection is SO important for us messy humans.

Positive Psychology defines all the strategies we need for well-being.

How does one flourish, you ask? In this world of disconnection and shiny social media reels?

I’ll point you in the direction of the PERMA-V model – which outlines the building blocks of human flourishing – Positivity, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievement, and Vitality.

While I studied to become a positive psychology practitioner, I thought a lot about the relationships in my life. The goal, of course, is to have a solid group of connections with other people – we need to intentionally nourish the relationships that lift us up, and minimize those that hold us down, or increase our stress levels.

Who do you spend your time with? Do you have meaningful connections with people who leave you feeling understood, heard, and safe?

Jim Rohn famously stated that we are the average of the five people with spend the most time with. As with any good quote, this one has brought about debate – but I agree with the sentiment. You are going to be most like the group you spend the most time with.

So, if you want to be a person who challenges themselves to learn and grow, you need to spend time with others who do the same.

Back to my quarterly meetings. I love my friends with my whole heart, and value their amazing, quirky uniqueness.

But really, when I calculate my time, the person I spend the most time with is, well, me.

What is the relationship that I have with myself? Is it based on honesty and compassion? What does that voice in my head say? (If you read my first blog post, you’ll know that I’ve named that voice Auntie Linda.)

Although I will always be a work in progress, I can say that I have a healthy relationship with myself now. I catch Auntie Linda when she gets up to her old tricks, and thank her for trying to keep me safe. (I then politely ask her to hit the road, and she usually obliges.)

I trust myself, and the decisions I make.

You know what was mind blowing for me? Recently, I was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep, but I was having trouble drifting off. I became curious with what I was feeling, and I paid attention to my body – what was this odd sensation in my stomach? Did I drink too much coffee? I felt…..giddy. (I assure you, dear reader – I don’t use that word lightly.)

After some reflection, I figured it out. I was proud. I was proud of myself. Not my accomplishments, per se, but I was just, liking myself. As a human.

As I write this, I am literally shaking my head, because that was the first time that I can remember this happening to me. It was, weird. But I liked it. (Auntie Linda didn’t even try to crash the party.)

I’ve started asking myself – how can I have that feeling again?

I’ve learned that who we are is how we lead. How can a person lead themselves, never mind a team of others, if they don’t like themselves? If they aren’t connected to who they are as unique individuals?

Talk soon,

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  1. Darcy Force says:

    This is beautiful Jaime!!! Your authenticity (and joy!) is shining through! So happy for you my friend!

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